Ok, so I wasn't actually gonna write about this, but....hey!!
You know sometimes you just cry....for no particular reason, the tears come, and they keep coming and you're not 100% sure why, you just know it's overwhelming!! Then you're exhausted and your eyes feel bloody sore!!
Well, yesterday was one of those days!! It started off ok, I even decided to create a new fb profile as a work-around for them blocking me again!! Then.....there was an issue with the printer (tiny thing, you know....normally not an issue!!), and that was it BAMMMMM uncontrollable sobbing - and I mean serious body-shaking sobs! I knew not where it came from I just had to go with it and let it out!! Even now, thinking about it bring a tear to my eye....so I'm guessing this energy isn't done with me yet!! Through all of yesterday there were spells of tear-shedding and it was - well it felt like - I was a walking zombie - really weird!! And, the only time I ever had these kind of feelings was when my mum died - uh-oh....here they come....breathe.........breathe. Ok, so obviously not as intense as when my mum died, but very similar - so I have to ask myself what has 'died', what am I mourning? Why am I crying!!?? LOL I think this time they are happier tears - more of understanding something!!!
So, what has 'died'? Well I could say....hope, but that's a bit too easy!!! Yes, superficially, there is a bit of a lack of light at the end of the tunnel right now - we're building something really empowering for people in our business, and it's progressing really well, however, sales are not what I thought they would be! And that's hard to 'keep the faith' sometimes! But there is something underneath all of that which has caused me to react!Hmm - looking at Nature, and the Wheel, now is the time for planning, of New Growth on it's way - it's not quite here yet!! So there is a 'waiting period' - something I don't do well, and I can't make plans too far ahead as there are a lot of changes happening this year - fundamental things! Which I don't deal with well!! LOL BIG groundshifting changes for me make it feel like I'm standing on quicksand - I don't like it! Which is why building this business is paramount - well, when I say building a business, we've been putting everything we have into building a business for the past 7 years! And it moved nowhere! And, yes, sometimes it made me feel like it was a pointless exercise!! But landing here, in this space, on my Witchcraft Path is soooo amazing!!! What those 7 years have given me though, is the chance to learn a lot about myself and what I want to do to earn a living! And, I guess, that time is now ending, and the stepping up - and I mean REALLY stepping up is here! Yes, creating and selling online courses to empower people is amazing, but what is even more amazing is when they DO the course, come out of the other end BEING that empowered soul!! I need to take my own advice really!! LOL Yeah, it's scarey being on the edge of nothingness!! Who knows what will happen!! And yep, having a known (albeit restricted & low) income is great - but it doesn't allow for growth - not serious growth anyway!! Being the master of your own everything, however is probably the scariest thing anyone can ever do! (Especially if you don't have family who can bail you out!!) BUT then YOU are in the driving seat! YOU and only you (and your partner, obviously), not a corporate company, not a government agency! I have heard it said many times that when you absolutely put yourself out there with your scaredy-pants on......shaking at the enormity of what you are doing....that is when the magick happens!!
And, you know, when we did out two-day Dark & New Moon rituals this month my intention I set and sent out got a resounding YES! The fire which burned in the cauldron I have NEVER seen before!!! So, I also need to trust this New Growth - because that is what happens after something 'dies'......New Growth happens!!
Bright Blessings All!!
and PS - we now have two courses in our series which can get you learning the Craft in a practical and hands-on way. Our website is here with all the info and sign-up forms :)