What is a shadow anyway?? Literally, it's the darkness that emerges when light shines upon an object. Ergo, when you are 'doing' shadow work, you are shining light on an issue to see the darkness and explore it - (Low Light (Sun is low in the sky) = Long (Big) Shadows, Bright Light (Midday)= NO SHADOWS!) - ok, so why would anyone actively go seeking darkness??
Sometimes we don't have a choice, it's what we're presented with through our life (it's what we have chosen to experience, as we ARE all powerful!!), but what I do know.....in the darkness there is more to learn than in the light! Hence why the brave-of-heart would take time out to go to those murky depths! On the Dark Side of the Soul are many teachings which, in this weird, bizarre world we're in at the moment, is a refreshing change to 'rainbows and unicorns' (don't get me wrong, I LOVE both rainbows and unicorns, but life is not a constant, it has polarity!!)
And I quickly learned as a child.......ie it was programmed into me.....that extreme polarities were 'normal' - love and hate, nurture and neglect, interest and ambivalence....it's what I saw daily, and it's what fueled the choices I made to walk a darker path.
As a child, up until the age of three-ish, I didn't speak much, didn't smile a lot either (unless I was on a horse!! Then it was huge shit-eating grins all-round!!! LOL). I very much lived in my head - it was nicer there, to be frank! To the point that when I was growing up I had a whole house, a whole world, inside my head where I went to regularly! lol I have to wonder what that must have looked like to people on the outside!! Hahaha Weird, or What!!??
So, I realised, last night, that I was walking my shadow path at a very young age - the circumstances of my conception and birth were, hmmmm, less than ideal, to say the least and the rest that followed was an extrapolation of that! But, I realise that , this was a path I chose before I was born - my Soul chose this path, in it's infinite wisdom.
Now, I know that my physical childhood was alright - I wasn't starving, or beaten or anything like that, but there was something amiss - which has only really come to light over the past few years, from talking to my aunt. And......the brakes go on - WOW! I did not know that this was gonna be so hard to write!!! It all sounded sooo good in my head last night!!!
So, I always had a suspicion that my parents (doing what they could with the tools they had.....with their own choices they had made) weren't the best at being parents - me (and then my brother too when he came along) were regularly farmed out to grandparents' for periods of time (again...always preferable for me!!!) or the classic 'stay in the car while we go in the pub'...........a few bags of crisps, lemonades and hours later they would return and off we would go home!
It all seemed soooo 'normal' - even the verbally abusive babysitter we had for a while seemed normal!! It was normal for these extremes of emotions to be part of my life! And the way my parents were with each other....WOW! True love and extreme hate - to the point where I can remember being...maybe nine or ten...and having to stop my Dad from strangling my Mum (the only time I ever swore at him!! LOL). I couldn't WAIT to leave home!!! I wanted out - it's like they were aliens to me, they were sooooo alien!
As I grew up and experienced the torture that is the school system, I learned to access something even more extreme, even darker........intensely violent thoughts about what I would do to the bullies who plagued me almost daily for most of my school life!! So, the darkness drove the light further and further into my seemingly black Soul!! And I was happiest when I retreated back into that world in my head I had created all those years ago.
Then, as a teenager, alcohol happened!! Oh my! Like adding petrol to a burning building! But I went even further down the rabbit-hole, clutching my bottle of brandy, cider or vodka...hey, I wasn't fussy, as long as it got the job done!! Alcohol made me funny and popular and NOT shy!!! And I mean not shy in many ways....including choosing to get myself into compromising situations!! ;) You know what I mean!
Rarely was there happiness, I was known as someone who was in a constant state of melancholia, unpredictable, self-destructive, over emotional, nutter (you name it, it was a label I wore with a kind of fucked-up pride!!) - and I LOVED it - being quite frank and blunt and honest - I LOVED it - and you know why?? Because for me, there was something dangerous about treading a path of shadow and exploring all those things that you 'shouldn't do!!'.
In fact, I was soooo contrary, I only had to get a sniff of someone thinking "Oh, you shouldn't do that...!" and I would be off again, off the rails, off my head (in my 20's it was LSD that did it for me!), and more often than not, rolling around on the floor (or occasionally in a garden) moaning that my life was shite!!! Well....go figure!!! D'uh!!! I wore my shit and my angry, resentful nature on my sleeve and didn't care!!
Through my Dark Path journey, I had gone so far inward that it was a mega-challenge to actually really connect with people, and I would spend a lot of time in my own company - it's in this space that I found Witchcraft the first time - and would take myself off on walks, or long bike rides into the countryside and beyond!! I believe my 20 year healing journey started there - the journey back out of the dark caves, armed with all this bonkers wisdom and a tiny little candle!
I ended up (through a weaving of fate!) in a theatre group, conquered a lot of fears around speaking/singing/just being me in front of people and when I was 26 I landed a place at a prestigious Drama School!! And...oh my god - it all came flooding back, the bullying and the insecurity that it brought up....and the fears around not being good enough, but the scariest thing was tapping into that Dark Place for a character I was playing - people would say to me "WOW! Where did that come from.....you're so quiet/nice normally!" hmmmmm, little did they know the filthy depths of my Soul!! HAhahahah
I lasted a year there and left, it was not a good place for me to be - I chose to walk away from a situation which wasn't right - ah-ha! The light in the Darkness!! And, through my 30's I kept on walking away from things/situations/people who were not right - sometimes it took longer to walk than I wanted, but I did it eventually!! Found Yoga and the empowerment that brings, had a child and then the REAL healing began!
I HAD to get my shit together - at least enough to be able to raise a child without passing on all my crap!! LOL So, I did, because I chose to use the knowledge I had gathered in the Dark Place, to give my child the absolute best of myself that I had - and that's not perfect, by any chalk, but I have broken the recurring chain that my parents passed on!
And coming full circle, last year I trained as a Soul Realignment practitioner and learned why I had trodden the path I had - and by the gods! Did I pick up some shit on the way......all gone now, I might add - but no wonder I had the life I had - by choice, remember!! :) And it's funny because I have photographed a lot of Pathways and doorways over the past few years....hmmmmm LOL I wonder why!!!????
So, is there happiness now? I would say YEP! And balance, and laughter and fun and adventure and bloody hard work (building a business) There is a curiosity and a need for truth - in everything - and I will dig it out if I feel I need to!! And, yes, I do still explore the Dark Side.....only now, I know how to get back out of the cave, armed with a HUGE lantern and priceless artifacts!! And this knowledge I share, because it has to be shared! It demands to be shared!!
Blessings All xxxAngiexxx
Like the beautiful crocus I'm gonna brag a little!! Wooohoooo....I'm here! LOOK at ME!! Well, that IS what the crocus is doing, eh!? ;)
Ok, so what is it I'm bragging about??
One of my blog posts has been published in an online Witchy magazine!!! YEP!! That's right! Cool huh?! Damn right!! It's fuckin' amazing!!! And I have to say....it wasn't without fear that I submitted my work to a complete stranger!!! Fear of what?? Well, that they would think it not good enough, etc, etc, dododo. Which is mad because people like my blog, they like the way I write and what I write about! For me though, it was a bit of an acid test, putting it out there, out there!! A bit like standing outside in the freezing cold...naked!!
It was a series of events which prompted me to do this wild and crazy thing!!
Ian is very good at hunting down people, websites, articles, etc which aid our journey and our learning, and he sent me a link to a cool Witch who sells online courses! So, I had a look at what she was sharing about being a Witchy Entrepreneur and it was very cool.....so as you do online....one click led to another.....and another 'til I found her Witchy mag......funny enough, called Witch!! And on there they encourage you to submit your essays!!!
First reaction was....YEAH!!!! Do it!! Then the fear kicked in, and the almost procrastination, because I needed to edit my blog a bit for it to be submitted - and there was definite resistance there!! The old "Why should I have to edit my blog....blah blah blah.....and so on!!" LOL Oh my!! And do you know what, editing that essay was one of the hardest things I've done (when it comes to writing, that is!!) it seemed to take forever!!!! BUT, persevere I did and sent it off on Tuesday!! And I sweated and panicked and sweated some more - lots of what-if's and 'Oh my god!!'s' And I waited....with breath that was baited!!
And didn't hear anything ...................................................................................................................................for a day and a half!! I had to keep myself busy on purpose - super laser-focused on what I was doing - to keep from constantly checking my email!!! Shit I got a lot done!!!!
Until at 18.36 on Weds evening (by which time I had decided that I would keep writing and blogging, even if they didn't publish my words!), as we were preparing dinner, I got an email!!!
An email which I couldn't open because I was scared about what the answer was........so........I closed my eyes and clicked!! Now you click.....on the link below!!!
So, what is the lesson here???? Ok, so it's an oldy but goody..........FEEL THE FEAR, and bloody hell go and do it anyway!!! Yes, it can be scarey as HELL to put yourself right out there on the edge, but that's where the magick is!! 100%
AND.....remember, YOU are the powerful creator of your own experience! YOU are.....YOU are in the driving seat......YOU are steering the boat!!
Have an amazing Venus day and weekend!
I'm off to edit another essay to submit!!! YEEEHAAAW!!!
MAGICK IS EVERYWHERE!!!
It always amazes me how one thing can lead to another, then another, then something else, ending at a place you never dreamed of!!
So, this morning myself and Ian were talking to H about his plans for the future (he turns 16 in a few weeks!!) and what he wants to do - he's into animation, and is really good at it, he just has that teenage lethargy about him which is really challenging (to me anyway, the serial 'doer' hahahah). Anyway, trying to get to the answer of what he is passionate about took a while (he is also on the Autistic Spectrum), so I gave him the example of my journey from factory to College, Drama School, Yoga Teacher, Sound Healer, High Priestess and I realised something quite profound in that moment (and I apologise if I have said this before!!) that through all the things/modalities/skills I have learned thoughout my life, the one thread? The one constant? MAGICK! Or Witchcraft (to me they are one and the same!!) But I realised at a very early age that there was magick everywhere! And that continued - from experimenting with alcohol as a teenager as it took away my shyness and made me confident and funny!! That to me was fascinating!! From dipping my toe in Witchcraft by the time I was 20, and being intrigued by people and why they do the things they do (another fascination for me was serial killers - I even kept a box file with clippings in it, labelled 'Weird People'!! lol - why and how they did what they did, what drove that? What motivates people is still interesting, and actually comes in really handy when creating and marketing our Witchcraft courses!!
I digress.....Magick - everywhere....at one point I was doing voluntary work with the West Sussex Probation Service!! I explored sooo many avenues!! Settled on acting for a long time - which is PURE magick!! And Yoga - more magick!! Magick, magick, magick, magick!!!! Because life is, and everything myself and Ian do now revolves around this mindset - in our photography, our camping trips, walks and food we eat, the stories Ian is writing...it is ALL magick!!! So, it really need come as NO SURPRISE that I am now teaching a magickal mindset!! And I'm loving thee creative process of creating our courses!! It's inspired sooo much for both myself and Ian and I am eternally grateful to be in the situation I am in!
So I have to ask......what is it that you can be thankful for today?
Brightest Blessings All!!
Downloads coming thick and fast at the mo!! And I'm not talking about iTunes - and I wouldn't because I don't like anything 'i' - I'd rather put my cash elsewhere!! LOL What I'm talking about....what am I talking about??? Downloads from...well whatever that is for you - Akashic Records, Ancestors, Higher Self.....I'm not fussy where they come from, I just know when they do! It's not just a lightbulb that goes on, it's the whole flippin' world that switches on it's soooo bright!!!
So, yesterday was our FB Live - and thank you so much to those who joined us! We really enjoyed it and we'll definitely do it again!!! (During the day we had been cleansing the Earth altar, ready for the coming Imbolg.....still got 3 more to do!!) After the FB Live we attended a webinar on mindset (because, as you know from me banging on about it here and in the courses I teach, it is everything!!) - now funny enough I had attended the same webinar a few months back and it didn't resonate!! This time I picked out some real gems - one of which was frequency - now, if you know me, you will know that both myself and Ian are Sound Healers/Soundscape Artists, so we know about frequency and it's healing powers. And to be honest, long before we trained in it, we were doing it...one of our Yoga Workshops is called Yoga of Planets - asanam mixed with the sounds/frequencies of the planets in our solar system and even growing up I had a knowing that sound was powerful - Jupiter resonates at 528 Hz - which is a DNA healing frequency! So, the key to mindset is FREQUENCY! Low frequency=low mood, lack of confidence, manifesting blocks. High frequency=elevated mood, super confidence and manifesting magick!!
So, I decided that I would use a tuning fork EVERY morning to assist my manifesting magick!! I have a 111Hz on my head right now!! So, that was good - brilliant insight!!
Then we were watching a new episode of Ancient Aliens about.......you guessed it.....FREQUENCY!! And they were investigating the resonance of a lot of these ancient sites.....and it turns out that these sites/chambers all resonate at 110 Hz! So, me being me, I had to look it up straight away, because 110 Hz wasn't one that I remember coming up in our training! Turns out 110 Hz relates to stomach health.......AND our connection to the Cosmos - The Universe - and (which makes sense as these ancient sites have to have been built by super advanced beings) our Ancient Alien Ancestors! It's a direct connection!! Wooohoooo SUPER DOWNLOAD!! So, off I trot to Ebay, and sure enough, we can order a set of whole body tuning forks (so specific frequencies heal particular areas of the body - including 110 Hz!!!)....I'll let you know when they arrive!!!
And that wasn't even the BIG download!! Now, we love Ancient Aliens, but they missed a HUGE point in their show last night - what were these sites/chambers for? Well, d'uh! Healing!!! Obviously! Meditation, connecting with their superadvancedbeing mates! And also that sound heals! They didn't even look in that general direction!! So, myself and Ian were talking about it and I got a 'plop' - (what is that? No, I wasn't on the loo!!) it's when I get a download, it feels like the info is just plopped into my head!! This 'plop' was around the word DOGMA! Now, as Witches we don't do dogma, we do thinking for ourselves! thank you very much!! So, some of you might have already spotted this next bit....if not, read on!!
Now, words ARE magick - no doubt about that whatsoever!! Take the word DOGMA....flip it round.....what have you got??
AM GOD!!! WOW!!! Huh!? What does that mean then? Well, a freethinker will not conform to the belief that 'god' is greater than them - we are all the same, all made from the same stuff - we are god!! AM GOD - as opposed to the dogmatic view of blindly following the monotheistic religions ;)
Ok, so take the word DOGMATIC - do the same...........CIT AM GOD So, you might be wondering what this means, does it make sense? Well the word 'Cit' is a shortened version of the word Citizen! Also, if you took it as Cite but without the 'e' it means to quote something as an authority, or to mention in confirmation of something!! MAD!!!
Ok, so I've given you something to think about there!!
Your words, and YOU are ultimately the powerful creators of you own experience - yes, I know, I say it all the time....because it IS true!!
And...if you fancy exploring these ideas of words being powerful, then our FREE course will light the way there! And if you want to explore even further down your Path and really get your teeth into some practical magick, then look no further - I mean it, our courses are fantastic!! - than our second course!
Bright Blessings All
Tonight is Old Disting (the feast of Disir - the Norse guardian goddess) or Burns Night in Scotland, after Robert Burns. Now, I've just done some research on the fly (not The Fly, but on-the-fly!! LOL) and there seems to be a vagueness around who and what the Disir actually are - the word 'dist' means goddess and in Scandinavian, Germanic and Celtic traditions sacrifices/festivals were held around this time of year in honour of different spirits. What I take from that is this time of year is one of planning, getting things ready (land, plans, ideas - so we are moving from the quality of the Elemental Air, more towards the qualities of the Elemental Fire (Brighid)), then when Imbolg comes we see the first awakenings of spring and (for us) we honour the goddess Brighid (who is the patron of poetry - amongst other things!). So it's like Disting and Burns Night are one and the same....just many years apart in practice!! Mad huh!?
So, this eve I (and maybe Ian) will be reading some of our own and other people's poetry, and maybe getting some drumming going! In honour of the Old Ways and now the New Ways!! It will initially be LIVE in our closed FB group, but I will share it out to our fb Page too!! And may even post in here in my blog!!
So......poetry!! I used to write incredible amounts of poetry - I took a leaf our of Jim Morrison's book and used to carry a notebook EVERYWHERE with me....I would write descriptions of what I saw, then turn it into poems!! I have to say, not all of them were good!! Some were just pretentious with great big long words thrown in!! LOL But there are some gems in there which I am pleased to call my own!! I wrote a lot during my twenties, even entered competitions (never won any!!), then I didn't write much until my Mum died in 2010 and I was sat in the early hours of the morning, not able to sleep and this came to me:
CHOICES - still in it's raw state because I've only just written it!
8 May 2011 at 01:40You carried me to this life -
A life with choices
I would make.
And you did the best you could
With the choices you had made.
Neither right, nor wrong...
Standing where you stood,
I know the choices are not easy.
And this weight of choice
Is heavy, but the best job in the world.
I hope you can see
Feeling eveything (once denied),
And NOT denial -
Going where I've never been before.
Knowing my truth
And my choices are mine.
Choosing to believe
And be alive all the time -
Like I remember you were sometimes,
Before your choices wore you down.
Your life stopped
And mine has begun
I love you Mum x
Oh my......it made me cry!! So, there it is, I have written a few since then, which I will share this evening....at 4pm (UK time - about 10am EST - possibly!! Please check the times!!)
We shall see you there!!
Angie (now on fb as Neubronner as they blocked me again!!)
oh, and ps, if you'd like to join our group 'The Path of Witchcraft' (which is primarily for those doing the course(s), but not exclusive to!!) here's the link for you to click!!
Ok, so I wasn't actually gonna write about this, but....hey!!
You know sometimes you just cry....for no particular reason, the tears come, and they keep coming and you're not 100% sure why, you just know it's overwhelming!! Then you're exhausted and your eyes feel bloody sore!!
Well, yesterday was one of those days!! It started off ok, I even decided to create a new fb profile as a work-around for them blocking me again!! Then.....there was an issue with the printer (tiny thing, you know....normally not an issue!!), and that was it BAMMMMM uncontrollable sobbing - and I mean serious body-shaking sobs! I knew not where it came from I just had to go with it and let it out!! Even now, thinking about it bring a tear to my eye....so I'm guessing this energy isn't done with me yet!! Through all of yesterday there were spells of tear-shedding and it was - well it felt like - I was a walking zombie - really weird!! And, the only time I ever had these kind of feelings was when my mum died - uh-oh....here they come....breathe.........breathe. Ok, so obviously not as intense as when my mum died, but very similar - so I have to ask myself what has 'died', what am I mourning? Why am I crying!!?? LOL I think this time they are happier tears - more of understanding something!!!
So, what has 'died'? Well I could say....hope, but that's a bit too easy!!! Yes, superficially, there is a bit of a lack of light at the end of the tunnel right now - we're building something really empowering for people in our business, and it's progressing really well, however, sales are not what I thought they would be! And that's hard to 'keep the faith' sometimes! But there is something underneath all of that which has caused me to react!Hmm - looking at Nature, and the Wheel, now is the time for planning, of New Growth on it's way - it's not quite here yet!! So there is a 'waiting period' - something I don't do well, and I can't make plans too far ahead as there are a lot of changes happening this year - fundamental things! Which I don't deal with well!! LOL BIG groundshifting changes for me make it feel like I'm standing on quicksand - I don't like it! Which is why building this business is paramount - well, when I say building a business, we've been putting everything we have into building a business for the past 7 years! And it moved nowhere! And, yes, sometimes it made me feel like it was a pointless exercise!! But landing here, in this space, on my Witchcraft Path is soooo amazing!!! What those 7 years have given me though, is the chance to learn a lot about myself and what I want to do to earn a living! And, I guess, that time is now ending, and the stepping up - and I mean REALLY stepping up is here! Yes, creating and selling online courses to empower people is amazing, but what is even more amazing is when they DO the course, come out of the other end BEING that empowered soul!! I need to take my own advice really!! LOL Yeah, it's scarey being on the edge of nothingness!! Who knows what will happen!! And yep, having a known (albeit restricted & low) income is great - but it doesn't allow for growth - not serious growth anyway!! Being the master of your own everything, however is probably the scariest thing anyone can ever do! (Especially if you don't have family who can bail you out!!) BUT then YOU are in the driving seat! YOU and only you (and your partner, obviously), not a corporate company, not a government agency! I have heard it said many times that when you absolutely put yourself out there with your scaredy-pants on......shaking at the enormity of what you are doing....that is when the magick happens!!
And, you know, when we did out two-day Dark & New Moon rituals this month my intention I set and sent out got a resounding YES! The fire which burned in the cauldron I have NEVER seen before!!! So, I also need to trust this New Growth - because that is what happens after something 'dies'......New Growth happens!!
Bright Blessings All!!
and PS - we now have two courses in our series which can get you learning the Craft in a practical and hands-on way. Our website is here with all the info and sign-up forms :)
The following words are something I wrote some (near) seven years ago! WOW!! And when I read it this morning it absolutely still resonated...but in a different way....I'll let you read it first!
Driving The Change - and yes I pinched the title from a car ad across the road from the coffee shop I was sitting in!!
Regarding the subject of loss.
Loss brings about vunerability - whether it's losing a pair of your favourite shoes, losing control during a moment of clarity or passion, losing a loved one through death or abandonment, even losing an arguement or fastly-held-onto ideals - anything lost immediately (for most of us humans anyway) brings about that knee-jerk reaction of being exposed because we no longer have that security blanket. And something else inevitably rushes in to fill that void - usually FEAR.
The definition of fear is: "A painful emotion or passion excited by the expectation of evil or the apprehension of impending danger"
Locke defines it as "...an uneasiness of the mind, upon the thought of future evil likely to befall us."
After watching Brene Brown's video (twice) last night on "Wholeheartedness" I have since been questioning my own need to 'excuse myself from vunerability' - in certain circumstances. For the most part I will put myself out there, striding forward in my own way, sometimes focused (blinkered in others' views), othertimes painfully aware of what is going on around me. But striving to be open to new experiences and learn from them.
Considering that as a child I was painfully shy and rarely said a word - always watching (and I still people watch!), I take some stock from the fact that putting myself out there can be hard work sometimes, but worth the uncomfortable moments. It's how I have managed to have such amazing friends and family who surround me :) It has to be said though that there are times (more so in the last 6 years) when something else kicks in - and that openness which can be work to keep unobstructed, just snaps shut with a bang. End of story, no discussion - which is not only incredibly draining (the flow of energy being suddenly cut off), but is demoralising too. It's like all the work was for nothing and you're back at square one. None the wiser as to why this has landed on you.
That is until you decide to peek at the scabby, pusy mess under the plaster!! Poking the fresh wound with a stick to see what has made it re-appear.
Fear. Fear of what? What has triggered this unsettling reaction? Usually the initial trigger can be dug around to find it's roots in vulnerability, facilitated by loss. Even the seemingly small things lost can trigger an extreme fear response. And it can take a lot of digging to discover the absolute truth of why certain situations are a catalyst. If you could describe what you fear in ONE word, what would it be? BIG question, I know. And it's making me scratch my head, because I fear many things: drowning; standing in front of a class of strangers and teaching!; dying in a freak accident; what sort of world my son is growing up in. But beneath all of these "surface fears" lies the real issue for me. And I always thought that it was abandonment I had issues with, but on deeper digging it's more like rejection that I balk from and react strongly to.
So, when someone willingly or unwillingly rejects the person I am, the me inside which I have trusted them with, for them to not accept where I am at that moment in time (and reject the bits they don't like) baffles me. Because surely you either accept someone wholeheartedly, or you don't (and if you don't, then trying to change them, mould them into something else is doomed to fail and they will rebel!). So, the rejection leads to the loss (of that connection, or the potential connection), resulting in feeling vunerable and fearful, thereby closing off the energy flow and any hope of having love or compassion for another or yourself.
Being as the Universe is in a constant state of change and everything ends, one way or the other, facing my fear of rejection and loss is key to me being able to stay open and connected to the abundance of said Universe and have the ability to practice the giving of unconditional love to everyone, EVEN if they appear to reject the person I have shown them.
I firmly believe that in order to be able to go out there and give of ourselves completely, we have to BEGIN with ourselves. No-one is going to do that for us. Small steps in self-belief and love are a firm base on which to build a tower of love and compassion.
And finally - almost! - last night, lying in my bed, in the silent dark, thinking on Brene's video, I was almost overcome by an overwhelming sense of boundless energy (all big amazing words, I know, but conveying how it felt is almost impossible) - which initially made me feel claustrophobic, until I realised that I could either panic at the enormity, or I could be still and breathe and step inside and take it on.
Own your feelings, for better or for worse :)
It's amazing how this fundamental thinking is still resonating......and I've had fears come up since I wrote this - some big, some not so big....through it all has been my breath! YES! I'm serious! Coming back your breath when your body/mind is freakin' out is THE ONLY way (for me) to get through it! It works! It's that simple!! Just breathe.......
And, this morning I am breathing in the intoxicating scent of the amazing Myrrh resin that Ian is burning in the Earth Temple :) It makes me go........mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm and smiley!!
So, I have to ask...what is your deepest fear - the root of all those knee-jerk reactions? Probing question, I know! But, uncovering the myths about yourself and the world of illusion we see around us IS the Witchy-way-of-thinking!!
Wanna begin on your Path? Cool! Follow this link....all the way to the end - it's not far...I promise!! - and you can enroll on our FREE course to get you firmly on your Path of Witchcraft!!
Brightest Blessing All!
My pathological aversion to the colour pink when I was younger (except for the pink panther - he was coooooool!!!)
As Elton John says...."...It's a little bit funny......" wow, who we are, why we're here and where the fucking hell are we going??? You know...I don't know about you, but sometimes I look at the weirdness of life - the absurdity of it all - and my own journey and it's hard to recognise the life I had that was....I don't get how I was such a different person then - well I get it, obviously, else I wouldn't BE here, doing this now! What I mean is I am so very ME now, that I can never imagine NOT being me now!............Phew - inner wanderings in my mind.....
So, I was posting this morning abour Venus and LOVE and the colour Pink and it hit me (like many things do!) how far I've come in that respect. I often stop and take a look to see where I've come from, but I had forgotten this! I had a pathological aversion to the colour pink.....for decades!! Until I was.....crikey let me think......35 years old!!! Holy crap-a-rama!! WOW!! For me, the colour Pink was a complete no-go area...I considered it girlie and squishy and YUCK! Oh my crypes!! And it's interesting that during that time (well, most of! actually) I was in self-destruct mode (not always active - as I've spoken about before in this blog, but I had self-sabotage down to a fine art!!) through the things I did, said, believed (and THAT'S the biggie!!). Your belief system IS EVERYTHING!! Everything....and I'm gonna say it again..........EVERY-BLOODY-THING! If you believe that you are.....not good enough/don't deserve [fill in the blank]/that crappy things always happen to you.....then that is what will manifest....for sure! Because THAT is what you believe! That's your 'religion', if you like. And (and I have said this many times before) as YOU are the POWERFUL creator of YOUR OWN experience......your belief system is so powerful that it WILL manifest!
How do I know this?? Because I am here, doing this....right now! Myself an Ian are creating online courses to generate passive income....right now! Through embracing (PINK!) myself and who I am at Soul level, I AM Love! My Primary Energy Center IS LOVE!! Holy crap-on-a-cracker!! Who would have thought it!! All those years in denial! But, it was that denial of my true self which hurt me soooo much!! No more denial! No more masks (unless I choose to wear one!!), no more walls around me and my heart! No more denying myself happiness! We are divine beings, of immense power, when we step fully into who we truly are!
Moving forward and course-correcting when we need to is key, but don't forget to occasionally stop and take a look back to where you came from! The climb is challenging....but the views......................
Bright Shiny Pink Blessing All
P.s…..if you want to find out who you are at Soul level I am a certified Soul Realignment Practitioner and you can find out more here
If you're curious about Witchcraft but don't know where to turn to learn, then our sister site is where you can find out more info on our courses!
dark & new moon altars to hekate
Blessings All!! When I got up this morning, I had NO idea what I was gonna write! I knew I was gonna write, but I knew not what! It's been a funny few days with one things and another - one thing which is pretty mad is our brass Kali statue (which we sold on Ebay) has come back to us (via a very aggressive person who has been banished...but that's another story!), but she's back! So, we had to re-assess what we were gonna do with her. I'll explain....deep in my Witchcraft practice, I decided (as I do, I am..after all a Leo!!! LOL) that any and all Hindu statues were no longer resonating with the Briton/Albion energy I was working with, so they had to go. We'd had Hindu statues all all kinds scattered around our home, because, as Yogis for many years, that's what you're supposed to do.....right??! But it was no longer working and I was getting almost shouted at by my inner Witch to get them gone!! So, we practically gave most of them away in a 'not-in-a-car-boot-sale' and other associated items and, you know, it felt good to clear out the old energy, AND to fully embrace our roots! (Although, mine are a little obscure as my Grandad's Grandad (I think that's right) was adopted - so I may have Turkish blood in my veins!)
So, yeah.....Kali is back after we thought she had found a new home! So, she still has work to do here! We decided to put her on guard duty - together with Hekate - at our threshold. I hope she enjoys her new spot....she's kinda been in a 'no-mans-land' for quite a while now!
And I'm sure Hekate minds not at all - she is after all a Titan Goddess - so.....'face...bovvered...' LOL
Hekate - her name struck a chord in me many years ago now, when I heard it in a chant (when I was still in denial about being a Witch, but used to sing Witchy chants!! Weird!!) and when I fully stepped into my Witchy-self, I knew that Hekate was my deity of choice - she had already pointed her finger in my direction!! :D
And, I feel the draw to study her more...ooooo it rhymes!! LOL I did a shit load of research when I first began (as is my nature and my passion - it's what I do!!), but I feel there is always more.....and it never hurts to know more!! Your connection to deity energy can only be strengthened by study! Also, I am writing the third Module of our paid course and in there !!SPOILER ALERT!! is a lesson on connecting to deity.....so I'd like to walk that particular path again, but with my students!! It's also a reminder of what it's like to be a beginner, and of how far I have come too :) And this time (betwixt the waning and Dark Moon) can be challenging as our energy levels can decrease.....so tapping into that energy and studying, meditating, inner reflection, planning - all those kinds of activities can help you move forward through this energy!
It's funny......writing this has turned my energy levels up! LOL I guess I needed a reminder of what works right now, at this moment, in this space! Study, writing, study and planning!! AND I do love a Dark Moon ceremony.....there is something so pure and delicious about the Moon's energy......and connecting to Hekate!!
So.....Fellow Witchy-poos, what will you be planning for the Dark & New Moon??? Feel free to comment with your ideas!!
...ps if you're planning on exploring your Witchy-ways and aren't sure where to begin, our FREE Course will help you on your way! There is also some BONUS Material too!!
Our paid course is currently in Pilot Mode....however, I plan to release the Full Price version in February, so you haven't missed the boat!! You can click here to find out more about the course :) xxxbbxxx
:) YES! I'm still talking about trees!!! Well, if you watch the Judi Dench docu I posted yesterday, you'll understand why!! Seeing trees in a different light just reinforces all the things both myself and Ian do (and have done for many years) and know and teach! Science has finally caught up with this Earth and it's magick!!
So, yesterday I talked about grounding and how important it is....if you want a little refresher on the deeper why's to this, here's the link to a vlog in December where I explained this in depth! So, I won't go over that ground again :) What I do want to touch on today is how Guardian Trees work their magick and why it's important to ask permission from them before you enter a woodland! Yes, I'm serious!! Asking permission from the Guardian Tree is no different to knocking on someone's front door! Knowing what we know now about the 'Tree Internet' as I call it - the tendrils which connect ALL trees in a woodland (and all over, I don't doubt!!) - it makes sense to ask permission to enter and ask for the woodland to show you their secrets!! If you don't ask, it won't show you ;)
So, how do I know which trees are the Guardian Trees??
You will find at the entrance(s) to the main area of woodland there will be one (or sometimes two) very large trees - like sentinels - these are the Guardian Trees, and it's these trees that you ask permission from before entering the woodland. You may see other Gateways too, as you get familiar with this way of seeing the world - for instance, before the Guardian Tree in our Enchanted Woodland, there is a Hawthorn Gateway - a Hawthorn either side of the path, which belongs to the Fae, the Fairy Folk - Hawthorn is their tree, their domain, so if you see this, and you feel that you wish to connect with Fae energy, then leave an offering :) Something else which can be seen when you really look is Oak and Hawthorn together, creating Gateways, and Oak and Holly too :)
Ok, then, how do I connect to the Guardian Tree and ask for permission?
Do what is comfortable for you - so touching the tree, hugging or just sitting with the tree will let it know you are there. As far as words go - and you can say them in your head or out loud - they can be as simple or elaborate as you wish them to be! For example, the other day when we went to our Woodland, these words came to me:
"May you grant permission to me
To walk here and visit your family,
Knock three times if you agree"
Sometimes I will hear a knock, or feel a vibration or sometimes it's a feeling, so there's no right or wrong way to 'feel' this :)
Other wording might be something like this:
"May I come in?"
"Grant me permission to enter this woodland"
"Give me permission to enter this woodland and show me your secrets"
You can use any of these or come up with your own words :) You'll find that when you sit quietly these words will come easier, and with practice too!
So, here's a challenge for you....go and seek out the Guardian Trees of your nearest woodland and ask permission to enter! See what happens! Then take a stroll around and see what you can see - a camera is always handy here as sometimes we don't see the majickal energies with our own eyes!
Happy Woods Walking!
Trees are great...aren't they!??!! I will never see trees in the same light again after watching Judi Dench's Tree docu yesterday! Check it out HERE - in fact it inspired us to go a-wandering in our local Enchanted Woodland.
Now, some of you know that both myself and Ian promote getting out into Nature whenever you can, sit with her, sit with the trees, talk to them, hug them...whatever works for you, just DO IT!! And you know why too, donchta??!! Because it IS a therapy all of it's own - it calms you, grounds you and just makes you feel alive! Especially when you get the fresh-face-my-face-feels-glowy feeling! So, yep we're back to grounding!!
Grounding, when working with magick/energy is THE most important thing you can EVER do - even more important than closing down (in my opinion!!). When you work on grounding and really FEEL that connection to Earth, you have 1. a connection to abundant energy (including cash-a-rama) and 2. a place of complete stability - a firm foundation from which to conduct your magickal workings! Think of it like a tree...without the root system, the tree would not be able to lift it's branches high! ;)
Ok, so how to ground - well there are many many ways, and it's always about what works for you! Myself and Ian come from a Yoga background, so grounding excercises around Kundalini work for us - as does grounding meditation....but we've got something very cool for you to try today, to ground and connect with our Mother!
Find a space outdoors and sit comfortably on the earth
Make two sets of two holes in the soil with your first two fingers
Plug your first two fingers of both hands into the holes in the ground
Close your eyes and get quiet with yourself
You will experience all manner of things whilst you're here, from freezing cold fingertips, energetic 'tingles' in fingers/hands/the whole body, you may hear sounds, or just feel like your body had dematerialised, you may just 'see' the world!
Stay 'plugged in' for as long as you need/want to!
:D My.....it's good to be back!! It's been almost two flippin' weeks!!! WOW!! I hope you've been sitting on the edge of your seat....waiting for more delicious words!! ;)
So, firstly, I sincerely hope you had an AMAZING Winter Solstice and 'New Year' - it's in '..' as the Witchy New Year is Samhain & Yule...not the Roman Calendary business of Jan 1st ;) However, Jan 1st did, indeed co-incide with the INCREDIBLE Full (Super) Moon, On a Mo(o)nday, so the energies were gonna be intense!
I planned a Ceremony, incorporating the honouring of Arianrhod to bless our forward journey & home - weaving through time and space and some powerful candle magick :)
I had invited a good friend of mine to spend the day and invited her to join us for the ceremony if she wish to.....Now, not so long ago I would have been chomping at the bit to 'get on with' the ceremony a good couple of hours before we were due to start (we'd planned to begin about 9pm) - the other room needing setting up and I would have been in an almost panic-state! LOL Sounds a bit crazy?? Well, this was how my head worked!! I'm not saying it's completely gone, BUT I was quite happy last eve to ride the magick carpet through the gaps in space and time.....and what happened???
Well, just before our friend left, I suggested a little jam (err, no, I don't mean the stuff you put on you toast!!! hehehe)........so we did! WOW we began just with some drums, simple drumming...which lead to some chanting and drums and all manner of things! (I don't always remember what we do in these jams - it's definitely channeled!!) The experiences we had were quite incredible! The energy in the room was alive! My feet actually felt like they were on fire at one point....such was the energy we were generating/tapping into! And there was a voice (above what was happening in the room!) singing - which from what our friend (and Ian) said...sounded slightly in the distance - which makes sense as I knew the Moon Goddess Arianrhod had connected with us (she resides in her castle/tower in the Corona Borealis (Cear Arianrhod) spinning fate through the Universe....and to me....she sings whilst she is weaving!!)
So, all in all, the ceremony we actually did was probably more powerful than what I had planned.......so, what was the point of this story....what is the lesson here??
Ok, so, if you're like me, you like to plan things and see them through to fruition. When it becomes an issue (or used to be) for me is when I get stuck on the plan and struggle to course correct on the spot! I have, indeed, struggled with this in the past!! To the point of stubbornness!! What last eve has taught me is that I can course correct...and quickly! AND, most importantly, not be stressed about it!! And, you know, when you embrace this way of being, it will almost always result in a better result than what the 'plan' would have yielded! Weaving our way through the gaps in the Universe is the only way to move through our experience in this 3D hollographic space adventure! We are adventurers! We are the powerful creators of our own experience!!! Step forward, right into the middle of it and bloody well OWN it!! :D
Bright Moon Blessings to you all!
ps, I have added the recordings of what we did last night - some silliness is present as we like to have FUN!!...
So....El Squeaky! The voice that ruins it......if you let it!!
My empowered self now knows that I am the powerful creator of EVERYTHING I have ever done/experienced.....yeeeehaaaaw! However, that was not always the case!!
The squeaky ruled my head, with an iron fist! I was the Queen of self-sabotage - if I could find a way to mess things up completely, then I would find it! Obviously, it wasn't like that 24/7, but I definitely had an alarm - like a siren - and I would hit that big button....regularly! Alcohol fuelled it...BIG time, even when I left the drugs behind me, alcohol was still a HUGE part of my life. I couldn't quite let go of the idea that it gave me confidence! I was always in fear of something (I talk about this in my earlier blog posts) and was, in my eyes, a victim of my life! Ten years working in a factory was a doubled-edged sword too - made me grow up fast but at the same time it fed the squeaky! Because everyone had an opinion about what I 'should' be doing!! There was one person I remember who worked in that factory, though, who got me and helped me to calm the squeaky, and it was her inspiration which created the 'man with the broom in my head'. It helped....a lot. There was still a huge pile of crap in my head and it took years to sweep it out - having a child helped that process!! - but I had a plan!!
I remember when I left all of that behind...the factory...my home....my friends, I left it to seek something new - no fear there because I wanted it and nothing was gonna stop me! so, hindsight tells me that I have that drive when I want it! If it's something I want with all my heart I will move mountains to get it! Which is what it felt like to finally get squeaky to shut the fuck up! Like moving a mountain 'I can movemovemove any mountain...dododododododododo......' there's a blast from the past!
How did I manage to get squeaky to submit? By *knowing that I created squeaky....like I created the man with the broom...like I created every single thing which happened to me....like I created the victim I played.....like I am NOW creating this me! In the absolute knowing that I made that there is infinite power! The power to create anything! Anything at all! Good, bad, indifferent! Ok, so knowing is empowering? Yep! How do you keep that frame of mind? That mindset? Good question, because days, weeks, months and years are not all the same...they change, we change and so does the Mother Earth!
I have to say, from my own personal experience, when that* realisation hit me it was massive and it hasn't gone away - when I had my Soul Realignment reading it unearthed things which explained everything which had happened in this lifetime and why I had chosen the things I had chosen, and I haven't looked back! To the point where I am now creating an online course in Witchcraft!!! Holy cow! Stepping into my empowered self, despite any doubt which might surface, despite the distant voice of squeaky which occasionally pipes up, is an incredibly amazing experience and I am not letting any voice, person, place or thing take that feeling away! I have even stopped drinking! I don't need it anymore! It's been (just had to count on my fingers there) 7 months!!
And that is why myself and Ian decided to create the online courses in Witchcraft ....because it empowers YOU! And we are passionate about it!! By helping to empower people, we empower the world...to think for themselves, to be the very most amazing them that they can be!
Bright Yuletide Blessings to you and yours!
I think it's been nearly a week since I've checked in here!! There's just been sooo much to do!! Preparations for Yule tomorrow....still more to do but LOVING it!!! And working like an Angie on our second course which launches tomorrow!! I tell ya...keeping the faith has been challenging at times! You know....that squeaky little voice which pipes up, when you are mid-flow, and questions EVERYTHING you are doing or are about to do!! The why's, the what's, the who is gonna's and the whining! Well, listen hear squeaky little voice....I have a little man with a broom in my head who is very good at sweeping the crap out of my head! Be gone squeaky!!
WTF?? Seriously! When I was a young snip of a thing, I was very naive and absorbed everything anyone ever said to me - good, bad, indifferent - I took it all on board! Hmmm, well you can imagine how crowded and noisy it was in my head - like Bluewater at Chrimbo-time....ALL the time! It's no wonder I wasn't 'in my right mind' - I wasn't even in there, everyone else was!! I was often advised by well-meaning people to 'get help', which I never did - even when I did many years later, it didn't help!!! I was always one to try and figure it out myself, being left to my own devices a lot as a kid....so that's what I did!
.......and some of it reads like one of the Chrimbo films I'm watching at the moment (not literally at the moment, btw!)....You know, troubled blah blah who has been on the wrong path forever then in a flash everything turns around when they get on the right path! Hmmmmmmm.....anyone else feel this!!! I'd heard it a lot over the years, but never experienced it....well, maybe once when I got on the acting path, but I still wasn't 100% me then either!!
So, my brand of 'figuring it out' included alcohol, because it made me the life and soul of the party! Later on it was pot, LSD, sometimes other bit n bobs - I was lucky enough to never go down the dark road of super hard drugs, but I knew people in my circle who did! (Probably why I never did them myself!!). I can honestly say, now with laser 20/20 vision that I still wasn't me through those times....I thought I was...I truly believed that at the time and I believed that the people doing the same things around me were my real friends! Young and naive! Boy! Was I?! But, hey...no recriminations, no regrets....because I have no regrets. I do have a HUGE perspective, which serves me well :) And the things I learned during those times have come back brighter and shinier! Witchcraft and a Nature Path! When I used to drop acid, I would go walking in the park in the dead of night and talk to the trees! Yep, truly I did! And it resonated.....and has come back :) No acid needed this time though! :D I guess what I'm getting at is that those experiences have lead me to the place I needed to be, albeit the long way 'round!! But then life is about the journey...right?! Abso-fookin-lutely!!
hahahah and the journey has been scenic, character building, strengthening, enlightening (in the shine-the-light meaning of the word)......a rich tapestry with numerous experiences that enable what I am doing right now! Ah-ha! And there is the challenge! When you reach a destination you've been aiming for....the place you have wanted to get to, how do you stop the squeaky from ruining it all???
Tomorrow.......'til then..... .'...parting is such sweet sorrow...'
Bright Yuletide Blessings!
........it's been a couple of days since I was here!! I miss it!! Did you miss me??? I hope so ;)
So, what have we been up to??? Baking Yuletide goodies and getting ahead of the Yule Feasting Preparations too! Buying Yuletide pressies, making Yuletide deccies AND.........drumroll purrrleese..............recording the videos for our second course!! Witchcraft for the Curious Novice!!! It's flying so far!! Yeeehaaaaw!!! So, we've been busy! So busy that we haven't done our Yulecards yet!! Eeeek! Methinks that's a job for tomorrow.......possibly!!! lol
And today is the second of the FB LIVE streams!! (Our group is here if you want to join) The theme of which is FEAR!! If you want to find out exactly what I think of fear....then tune in at 2pm today (GMT) :)
Just a short one today!
But sending out the Brightest Yuletide Blessings to you all!!
:D :D :D Not that I'm excited or anything....but we woke up to snow this morning!!! Ian has been saying for a few weeks now that we're DEFINITELY getting snow and last night I had a dream in which I was asleep but could hear rain outside, and in my dream I thought....'Damn! I wish that was snow and not rain!!' Taaadaaaahhhh SNOW!! So, enjoy our snow pics!! We HAD to go out in it first thing - I was soooo excited that I just put my Winter Wooly dress over my jaamies lol and got in a tangle with my scarf, couldn't get my snow boots done up properly AND forgot my gloves!! lol
Smurf LOVED it - he was very excited and got all wet and fluffy!! LOVE this time of year....it's a great excuse to have porridge for brekky!!! (Which we did!!) It's still snowing now, as I write.....I think it'll be on and off all day going by the cloud out there!
Stay warm and safe guys! Get yerself some Yaktracks - things you attach to your boots to stop you slipping about! They're great! Bit like snow chains for your feet!! LOL
Bright Snow Blessings!!!
Hmmmm, so, I hear you ask.......how does the Dark and Light show up in on my Path of Witchcraft?? Well, I guess the main way it has done this is that the Deities who have chosen to work alongside me are, what some would call, Dark. Hekate, Odin, Arianrhod, Arawn are seen as a little scary to some magick-workers! The way I see them though, is like a friend - some friends are fluffy, some, not so much! LOL You know, like with friends, if you treat them with respect and don't fear them they can guide you in amazing ways! For example, when I was working on my connection with Hekate, I did experience something amazing in meditation.......it was like a crown being placed atop my head!! And in the same vein when connecting with Odin, I had similarly amazing visions! My BIG journeying tool though is Guided Meditation - both myself and Ian LOVE creating these emmersive journeys! They can be Light/Dark/Comforting/Scarey!! Ultimately though they bring new awareness and connection to your own brand of Witchy energy!!
Other ways the Dark and Light show up is in the experimentation - the body being the laboratory - so whatever the concoction is - incense with 'naughty ingredients', a new skin cream, or oil/tea blend we will try it ourselves first to see what happens!! Using the dark to bring the light!!! Even our gatherings are an immersive experience - by using lighting, props, backdrops, incense, costume...it all adds to the intense energy of the particular part of the Wheel - and that can be Death/Rebirth/Harvest/Light/Dark or Balance!! In the Sound Healing we do too.......this can be a very challenging journey for some, but ultimately, out of the other end comes healing!!
So, I'm gonna say it again......FULLY embrace both sides of yourself, as your TRUE self - Embrace Your Inner Witch and find your Path of Witchcraft!!
So, right, yes, I has absolutely 100% CHOSEN to have those experiences that I had through my life......I chose the Dark Side! What I didn't have was a Lighter Side to balance out the Dark!! My 'goto' default button was dark and twisty! Alcohol didn't help either! lol It amplified it BIG time!!!! I spent many years believing I was a victim of my circumstances and struggling AGAINST the very thing I had chosen - kinda weird - huh!?
And then, once I chose a different path (one of NOT being like my parents were, when I had my son) I went the complete opposite end of the scale!! - striving for 'enlightenment', (rainbows & unicorns!) through a quite extreme Yoga practice.....furiously 'working on it' - gave up smoking, coffee & (for a short time!) alcohol - trying sooo hard to be 'good'! Ring a bell??? hahaha Back to square one!!! Choosing Light over Dark didn't work either! During this part of my journey, I ended up in the mindset that there was something very wrong with me, because those Dark bits would show through regularly (usually induced by alcohol or feelings of inadequacy!) and explode in a cacophony of anger, frustration and shoutiness!!! Why??? Because I had gone from choosing Dark to choosing Light, when in actual fact what I really needed was a balance between the two!! Embrace BOTH sides of myself to TRULY move forward!!
For me, that journey really began with being on the stage - it helped me to confront my paralyzing fears and move around them - and progressed through training to be a Yoga Teacher (BIG mircoscope on my life!!) to just a few short years ago when I began to entertain the idea of FULLY embracing my inner Witch (helped in no small part by my partner Ian and my other teacher Andrea Hess and Soul Realignment!)......of not being afraid to look under the stones, to look inside the dark cupboard, to see what needs to been seen, to unravel what our perception says is 'normal'. I'm not saying that it's a finished journey.....my god and goddess.......absolutely NOT, for we are ever-learning and growing as beings of Light & Dark! But I see myself very differently from how I used to......I know that there are Up Days, Down Days, Fantastically Amazing Days and Frustrating as Heck Days! And by fearlessly embracing it all, being brave in the face of adversity, we grow and move forward on our Path Of Witchcraft!
So...I hear you ask....how does this Light & Dark manifest itself on my Witchy Path now??? Tune in for Part Three tomorrow and find out!!!
xxxLight and Dark Blessings Fellowsxxx
Ok, so if you have EVER secretly wondered about Witchcraft and what it would be like to fully embrace YOUR inner Witch, or maybe you feel like something is missing in your life, our FREE Micro-course will enable you to Embrace Your Inner Witch! Click here to find out more and to sign up!! It's FREE, so it's a WIN-WIN!! :)
...... :) I seem to have coined a phrase recently which expresses an appreciation for the other side of life........"Life isn't all rainbows and unicorns....it's messy!" Funny how the Universe will mirror that right back at ya!! lol So, yesterday I came across an article in one of the groups I'm in, which kinda resonated, but didn't quite hit the nail on the head for me.......so. I thought I would tackle the ideology myself!!..............The Dark Side..............and, no, I'm not gonna bang on for a whole page about Star Wars being the Daddy of Sci-fi! (It's not..anyway!! hahaha)
The Darker side of your Soul contains the parts which we (stick our fingers in our ears and shout 'lalalalalal') don't want or choose not to see! Look at Nature......she is, after all our greatest teacher! There is light and dark, there is death and rebirth, there is destruction and regrowth - it's ALL there, if we choose to look and really see! And it's brutal sometimes, beautiful othertimes! IT'S ALL THERE!! Even in our own bodies, there is light and dark - from a science viewpoint - when we breath, the process of breathing...the mechanics....actually produces free radicals! Yep! You remember those, yeah? They were making headline news a few years back, but they're out of the limelight now!! So, there yo have it! Light and Dark exist and thrive together - they co-exist!
So, why can't that happen in our own psyche? Well, because we are programmed from a baby.....YES! a baby! to be good, don't cry!, don't make a noise, don't answer back, don't have an opinion, don't....don't....don't....don't...DON'T! And the ole....if you're good [.................] (fill in the blank!) Heck, I've even done it myself with my son when he was very young! You may be lucky.....you may have/have had parents who were/are not of the older generation, or they may have been a little more awake than the bog-standard parent(s), if that's the case then good on ya! For most of us though we grew up with restriction! And, that's something which, in my own head as a kid, I fought EVERY STEP OF THE WAY!! In my head (never out loud because that was NOT allowed) it was always WHY?????
As a small child there were things I experienced which I guess people now would tutt and frown at, but they molded me to this being I am now, so I say tutt off to the tutters!! LOL I was very much in touch with the darker part of myself, from very young (I have a vague memory of when my brother was born....my mum was very ill and was jaundiced, so was kept in isolation and had regular blood tests. My mum told me (later on in life) that I would be absolutely transfixed when the medical staff were drawing her blood - fascinated even! I used to like being on my own too when I was a toddler and wouldn't engage in conversation, wouldn't smile (unless I was sat upon a horse!!) - I was right inside my own world.....and it continued! Through childhood I was bullied and would conjure up the most awful images of what I would do to those bullies! Right proper gruesome stuff! I was almost locked in, in my Dark World! There was a shining light though!! The one thing I do have a very clear memory of though was an umbrella! YEP! An umbrella!! It used to live in the downstairs loo and I would sit there (on the loo) staring at this umbrella (it had clouds on it and the clouds had like a silver border around them) and I realised then that even the darkest moment will have an aspect of clarity/creativity/knowledge/conscious thought IF............IF you are willing to see it!! It's easy to revel in the negative - it really is, and that's great...for a while, however, if you let the Dark side kick you up the bum, then that Dark energy (because everything is energy and energy is neither good or bad - it's our perception filter which colours it!!) can be channeled to move you on. For example, I was sooooo caught up in my Dark web as a child that it got out of control and my imagination would run riot, so that paranoia took hold when I was a teenager (and into my twenties to some extent) - I was the victim of my unconscious mind, which had become a conscious way of being - like a rabbit constantly looking out for trouble....and, you know what? Trouble would find me! Through problems at work, to crappy disfunctional relationships which pulled me down further!! What I didn't realise at the time was that I had chosen this!!!...........
Part Two tomorrow guys!! Thanks for reading!!
.....and readying ourselves for yule!
I began this morning wondering what on earth I was going to blog about this morning! LOL Then, as I was writing a post for our group The Path of Witchcraft (support group for our FREE online course), I stumbled across something which I had been feeling and not necessarily voiced!
During this time and space of Samhain to Midwinter, there have been plans made and executed, learning achieved and creativity abounding! Myself (and Ian) have been walking the path of the Underworld with the Oak King...preparing for his rebirth on the 21st December! It also helps that we still have up some of the Samhain deccies which create the feeling that you are in the Underworld!
How does it feel to tread this dark path?? Well, I admit, I did take down the window hanging as I was getting a little 'aaarrgghhhh! Where's the Sun!!', but it was up for a good week and a half before I did so!! Most of our faery lights are still off too, so when Midwinter rolls around, it'll be like Blackpool Illuminations 'round here!!
It's been a challenge - and it's not finished yet!! - to face the darker side of my own nature (the pushing through resistance to complete a project!, and the itching to change my altar for Yule!! hahahaha), but I like to push my own buttons sometimes!! lol What has been nice though is friends and family visiting, sharing problems, sharing food and receiving healing :) I have also enjoyed (immensely) listening to the Magick Audioplayer - filled with evocative moosic for this particular time of year!! Boootiful!!!!
Of course, as well, it's always a great pleasure to watch our Mother - Nature - change and evolve, shift and move to the season - brings so much joy to see :)
And, so that's a wrap for today :)
Enjoy your Witchy day!!