the darker side of the soul.....part one

...... :) I seem to have coined a  phrase recently which expresses an appreciation for the other side of life........"Life isn't all rainbows and unicorns....it's messy!" Funny how the Universe will mirror that right back at ya!! lol So, yesterday I came across an article in one of the groups I'm in, which kinda resonated, but didn't quite hit the nail on the head for me.......so. I thought I would tackle the ideology myself!!..............The Dark Side..............and, no, I'm not gonna bang on for a whole page about Star Wars being the Daddy of Sci-fi! (It's not..anyway!! hahaha)
The Darker side of your Soul contains the parts which we (stick our fingers in our ears and shout 'lalalalalal') don't want or choose not to see! Look at Nature......she is, after all our greatest teacher! There is light and dark, there is death and rebirth, there is destruction and regrowth - it's ALL there, if we choose to look and really see! And it's brutal sometimes, beautiful othertimes! IT'S ALL THERE!! Even in our own bodies, there is light and dark - from a science viewpoint - when we breath, the process of breathing...the mechanics....actually produces free radicals! Yep! You remember those, yeah? They were making headline news a few years back, but they're out of the limelight now!! So, there yo have it! Light and Dark exist and thrive together - they co-exist!
So, why can't that happen in our own psyche? Well, because we are programmed from a baby.....YES! a baby! to be good, don't cry!, don't make a noise, don't answer back, don't have an opinion, don't....don't....don't....don't...DON'T! And the ole....if you're good [.................] (fill in the blank!) Heck, I've even done it myself with my son when he was very young! You may be lucky.....you may have/have had parents who were/are not of the older generation, or they may have been a little more awake than the bog-standard parent(s), if that's the case then good on ya! For most of us though we grew up with restriction! And, that's something which, in my own head as a kid, I fought EVERY STEP OF THE WAY!! In my head (never out loud because that was NOT allowed) it was always WHY?????
As a small child there were things I experienced which I guess people now would tutt and frown at, but they molded me to this being I am now, so I say tutt off to the tutters!! LOL I was very much in touch with the darker part of myself, from very young (I have a vague memory of when my brother was born....my mum was very ill and was jaundiced, so was kept in isolation and had regular blood tests. My mum told me (later on in life) that I would be absolutely transfixed when the medical staff were drawing her blood - fascinated even! I used to like being on my own too when I was a toddler and wouldn't engage in conversation, wouldn't smile (unless I was sat upon a horse!!) - I was right inside my own world.....and it continued! Through childhood I was bullied and would conjure up the most awful images of what I would do to those bullies! Right proper gruesome stuff! I was almost locked in, in my Dark World! There was a shining light though!! The one thing I do have a very clear memory of though was an umbrella! YEP! An umbrella!! It used to live in the downstairs loo and I would sit there (on the loo) staring at this umbrella (it had clouds on it and the clouds had like a silver border around them) and I realised then that even the darkest moment will have an aspect of clarity/creativity/knowledge/conscious thought IF............IF you are willing to see it!! It's easy to revel in the negative - it really is, and that's great...for a while, however, if you let the Dark side kick you up the bum, then that Dark energy (because everything is energy and energy is neither good or bad - it's our perception filter which colours it!!) can be channeled to move you on. For example, I was sooooo caught up in my Dark web as a child that it got out of control and my imagination would run riot, so that paranoia took hold when I was a teenager (and into my twenties to some extent) - I was the victim of my unconscious mind, which had become a conscious way of being - like a rabbit constantly looking out for trouble....and, you know what? Trouble would find me! Through problems at work, to crappy disfunctional relationships which pulled me down further!! What I didn't realise at the time was that I had chosen this!!!...........
Part Two tomorrow guys!! Thanks for reading!!
​xxxAngiexxx