I think it's been nearly a week since I've checked in here!! There's just been sooo much to do!! Preparations for Yule tomorrow....still more to do but LOVING it!!! And working like an Angie on our second course which launches tomorrow!! I tell ya...keeping the faith has been challenging at times! You know....that squeaky little voice which pipes up, when you are mid-flow, and questions EVERYTHING you are doing or are about to do!! The why's, the what's, the who is gonna's and the whining! Well, listen hear squeaky little voice....I have a little man with a broom in my head who is very good at sweeping the crap out of my head! Be gone squeaky!!
WTF?? Seriously! When I was a young snip of a thing, I was very naive and absorbed everything anyone ever said to me - good, bad, indifferent - I took it all on board! Hmmm, well you can imagine how crowded and noisy it was in my head - like Bluewater at Chrimbo-time....ALL the time! It's no wonder I wasn't 'in my right mind' - I wasn't even in there, everyone else was!! I was often advised by well-meaning people to 'get help', which I never did - even when I did many years later, it didn't help!!! I was always one to try and figure it out myself, being left to my own devices a lot as a kid....so that's what I did!
.......and some of it reads like one of the Chrimbo films I'm watching at the moment (not literally at the moment, btw!)....You know, troubled blah blah who has been on the wrong path forever then in a flash everything turns around when they get on the right path! Hmmmmmmm.....anyone else feel this!!! I'd heard it a lot over the years, but never experienced it....well, maybe once when I got on the acting path, but I still wasn't 100% me then either!!
So, my brand of 'figuring it out' included alcohol, because it made me the life and soul of the party! Later on it was pot, LSD, sometimes other bit n bobs - I was lucky enough to never go down the dark road of super hard drugs, but I knew people in my circle who did! (Probably why I never did them myself!!). I can honestly say, now with laser 20/20 vision that I still wasn't me through those times....I thought I was...I truly believed that at the time and I believed that the people doing the same things around me were my real friends! Young and naive! Boy! Was I?! But, hey...no recriminations, no regrets....because I have no regrets. I do have a HUGE perspective, which serves me well :) And the things I learned during those times have come back brighter and shinier! Witchcraft and a Nature Path! When I used to drop acid, I would go walking in the park in the dead of night and talk to the trees! Yep, truly I did! And it resonated.....and has come back :) No acid needed this time though! :D I guess what I'm getting at is that those experiences have lead me to the place I needed to be, albeit the long way 'round!! But then life is about the journey...right?! Abso-fookin-lutely!!
hahahah and the journey has been scenic, character building, strengthening, enlightening (in the shine-the-light meaning of the word)......a rich tapestry with numerous experiences that enable what I am doing right now! Ah-ha! And there is the challenge! When you reach a destination you've been aiming for....the place you have wanted to get to, how do you stop the squeaky from ruining it all???
Tomorrow.......'til then..... .'...parting is such sweet sorrow...'
Bright Yuletide Blessings!